January- time to thaw from the deep freeze

The ground is buried in a new blanket of snow,  but for me, the inside is looking quite a bit toastier.  Not just the indoors, but my actual insides.  For most of my life, I have been the one that follows all the rules, colors only inside the lines, does what everyone thinks I should do, partly to please others, but I think more so, because I never had much of a sense of what I wanted for myself.  I hadn’t really even given that much thought until recently.

I have recently taken up following the work of Dr. Joe Dispenza, and begun his meditations, which has led me to a spiraling upward path of finding feeling, yes, the physical sensation of feeling emotions in my body, a path of warming up the frozen insides that my upbringing had me holding on tightly to.

When your insides are completely frozen, you don’t even know all the things you haven’t felt exist.  The warmth your heart feels when you have a conversation with your adult children.  Not that I haven’t always had the biggest love for my kids,  I can just FEEL it now, physically in my body, after doing the meditations.

I now literally feel the space that releasing old patterns, old regrets, anger about things that didn’t happen, or things that shouldn’t have, has made.  Space that a new level of happiness was waiting to occupy.

I have always been into self-help, I have shelves full of self-books that I have been adding to for decades. I have read about doing affirmations, and tried over the years to adopt that practice.  It always sounded good.  Write down that you feel confident, prosperous, and joyful. Repeat.  I have now finally figured out why all my attempts at that in the past were complete non-starters.  As Dr. Joe explains, the intellectual mind and the feeling, sensing part of you, are nearly mutually exclusive.  Not that intellect is bad, it is very useful for some things, but if you use it and nothing else, like I had been conditioned, you have shut down many of the ways your body can feel.  Using your mind to think about the words, in the case of affirmations, and to intellectually rehearse them were entirely missing the point.  The point actually is to drop in your heart (for me, a frozen desert of a region at that time) and FEEL what it would feel like to be all of those fabulous things.  To awaken your imagination (still working on this), and to picture how these things would look, adds to the affect.   What you are actually doing, when you drop into the feelings in your body is to re-write the subconscious programs in your mind to accept the positive new ideas.

Dr. Joe’s work, along with Wayne Dyer and others, shows you how to “get out of your head”, and use your senses and emotions to bring an inner awareness of feeling, which is pulling together the brain and body into what is called heart and brain coherence.

Dr. Joe’s work shows the science behind what is actually happening when you meditate, you create new neurological pathways in your brain that shut off the chemicals of stress and ramp up the chemicals of joy. Following these methods people can heal themselves from stress related illnesses, emotional pain, and actually free themselves from past traumas of all kinds.

I know for me, this is a new journey of adding freedom to my life.  I woke up this morning feeling, yes, actually feeling the emotions in my body of being worthy of the life I truly desire.  I am giving myself permission to be joyful, happy, prosperous and surrounded by people that are giving themselves the same permissions.  No more nagging sense of not deserving that.  I left that baggage at the door, and checked into a new life.


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