Welcome to Permission Granted, the blog!
I’m so glad you found your way here!! My name is Jaye Barends. I am a Blogger, Florist, Paddleboarder, Certified Financial Planner, Entrepreneur and Mom. The blogging happened by default, as much as by design. I have always loved to write, but had such a busy life, that I just didn’t have time!!! Through life’s many twists and turns, and many years of working hard, really hard, I learned a few things that I would like to share. Took me a while, almost five decades, but I’ve got a few things figured out. Things that just are true. And they work all the time, and for everyone. Things that are universally true, like gravity. When we walk out the door in the morning, we don’t have to worry about flying up! Gravity holds us down. Everytime. Now if you leave the Earth in a rocket ship, this does change the gravity metaphor!! But back to my underlying theory… One thing I have realized is that I already have permission, without waiting for anyone else to grant it: to live a life filled with Joy. I get to choose what I want to become, what I like, what my passions are, what skills, talents and ideas inspire me, and what meanings I give to all of the above. And this is still completely true for you if your background and upbringing was sad, neglectful or downright hideous!!! You get to change the trajectory!! In fact, you are the only on that has that power. It feels very freeing to realize that literally everyone else’s thoughts don’t count above my own. This Blog is about helping others discover this truth.
So here is a bit about my story…
Can any Entrepreneur Moms relate? I could use a few more hours in each 24 hour stretch! This has been the last few decades of my life.
Let’s begin in 2008… My whole entrepreneurial life was upset by the economic downturn, and by staying in the Midwestern small town where my kids were going to school. I wouldn’t change my decision to stay for my kids, but it sure was bad for business. If I had moved my retail shop to a bigger area; an artsy, touristy town, I could have sustained the business. Fast forward to the present, 10 years later. So, I find myself working for a company that I don’t own for the first time in my life. My daughter is off to college. My son is now 18. A senior in high school and things have slowed down enough for me to catch my breath. On top of that, I have something pressing to write about. My son, who has always been the internal, strong and silent type, began experiencing some major anxiety and depression, starting in his early high school years. In exploring what was happening for him, and what to do about it, I have begun a journey that I never expected. Learning about the brain, and how it works, and how it sometimes isn’t working very well. I have also come to see that many parents and children are also facing this journey. Pulled into it unexpectedly. And often as children enter the early high school years. So this is my two-fold attempt at keeping my sanity, living life with joy, in tandem with infusing joy to a teenage son that sometimes looks at me like I am an alien. (Oh, who am I kidding, MOST of the time he looks at me like I am an alien with three heads!) And, yet at other times he seems to pick up at least a tiny bit of my insatiable optimism. Even on the days that his depression sometimes leans on both of us, I find that doing something to bring myself joy can spill over to both of us. And together we have found some useful ideas that help with anxiety and depression. Things that universally help all of us humans in general: breathing exercises, hydrating well, good nutrition, including some special supplements, journaling (which may take the form of writing Rap Songs!) and focusing on where you want the future direction of your life to be. All of these help to alleviate symptoms of anxiety and depression. And it is my express desire that I lead by example for my kids; that as I choose Joy in my life, that they see that they are fully able to do the same for themselves!! Explore my site, comment on what you see, share with me your experiences and what has worked for you and your family, and know that even in the face of anxiety and depression there is hope.
I hereby allow you to grant yourself, your children and everyone you know, permission to live a life of Creativity, Appreciation, and Strength with an inner knowing that you are enough, you do deserve that, and life can and should be expansive, interesting, and downright FUN!!!
A major discovery for me that I just kind of bumped into slowly over the years, is that there isn’t anyone out there that is necessarily caring about and cultivating a sense of happiness for ME. Instead, this is an INSIDE JOB!!! If you do have people in your life that uplift and support your dreams, then you can move through any obstacle even faster!! Have a ton of appreciation for those people in your life!! At the same time understanding that it isn’t their main responsibility to make you happy. You are the only one that can decide what you want in your life, what you want out of your life, and how you will get there. And even if you have never comtemplated the idea before, you can figure out what you like, what is fun for you, what you want to create, and figure out the path to get there. Life isn’t about “arriving” at some sort of perfection, someday. It is about stopping to notice that the present moment is where the power of choice and intention lie, and the journey is to be enjoyed moment by moment. The journey shouldn’t be rushed over, trying with dizzying speed to do more, be more and accomplish more tasks. (Can you tell, I did those very things for decades?) Rather, life’s moments are to be savored. Make room in your life for fun!! Find things you enjoy, and DO MORE OF THEM!!! Find people whose company you enjoy and spend time with them. If you haven’t had much luck with that yet, keep going, keep learning, experiment!! Gain communication skills, read books, watch videos, learn how to express yourself!! Took me a long time to even think of finding things that I enjoyed, besides my work. I love to dance, I am learning paddle-board racing, love great food, traveling, love to take in the sunset over the water. And I am SO open to finding new things to enjoy.
What do you do for fun? I challenge you to do it today!!
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